A Guest Blog from Holly Heather
Birth plans. Total bullshit right?
No point in planning for something you have no control in. Your midwife wont bother reading it anyway. Julie next door said her birth didn’t go to plan anyway.
When you are pregnant, I promise you, you will hear this from all angles. How utterly pointless it is to plan for birth.
I’m going to let you into a secret.
It ISN’T about writing a 4 page essay listing in descriptive detail exactly what you want your birth to be like.
It ISN’T a waste of time.
It ISN’T about defying medical advice and insisting on a “perfect” birth.
It’s all in the process.
In order to write a birth plan, you’ve got to know what options are available to you. You’ve got to have conversations with the people that are part of your birthing team. You’ve got to get educated.
Enter BirthCalm stage left.
The driving force behind us wanting to create BirthCalm was to lay out those options. Start those conversations. Provide you with the evidence, the science and as much education as I can cram into our 5 hour session together.
Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with burying your head in the sand, not wanting to read up about birth, just letting the midwives take over and going with the flow. I’d hazard a guess that this comes from a place of fear.
Long before I knew anything about affirmations, my mum had a sign up in our family home saying “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. It used to make teenage Holly cringe internally. Oh how far I’ve come.
Fear is real. It is all consuming. It is crippling. It is a protective emotion the makes you want to hide and run away.
Fear gets your blood pumping. It fills your body with adrenaline and it makes you tense all your muscles.
Fear + Birth = a pretty miserable, unempowered experience.
There is another way.
Now obviously I’m not going to give away aaaaaaaaall the key components of the course for you now, you’ve got to come along and find out those for yourself.
The main things that are conducive to a positive birth experience- and please note that I mean POSITIVE, not perfect- are control and confidence. Feeling confident that your body knows what it’s doing. That YOU know what it will be doing. If your mucus plug takes you by surprise then you’re in for a fair few more along the way. Feeling confident that you know the choices available to you. The pain relief options. What an induction actually entails. Who you can have with you. What positions you can get yourself into to feel most comfortable. Where you can choose to give birth. There’s lots you can’t control, sure; but so, so much that you can.
We’ve called the workshop “choices” because that is exactly what we want to lay out for you, in black and white. Just how much choice you have available to you- no matter what kind of birth you are hoping for.
Now you tell me that planning for birth is a pointless task?!
BirthCalm Choices Workshops are currently being run by Holly Heather in West Sussex, with more venues, teachers and options popping up in the near future. Please visit www.calmfamily.org for more information nationally, or www.hollyheather.co.uk to find out more about Holly and her classes.
About The Author
Holly Heather is a self proclaimed oversharer, proud single mother of two daughters and teacher of all things pregnancy, birth, baby and beyond. She lives and teaches in West Sussex and you can find more of her adventures in parenting on Facebook as Holly Heather- Growing Humans.